If I Go Tomorrow.

This morning I read an article and in it the person said, "If I go tomorrow I want them to know..." This choked me up because it got me thinking. I have been annotating a lot of different things on this blog that I want you both to know. How I feel about you however, does that shine through? I certainly hope so. I try every day to share with you both how much you mean to me. However in the hub bub of daily life it's easy for me to skip over that important detail. Please know that you are loved more than anything in the entire world. I would give my life for you both if I ever had to without a second thought. You are my entire world and I hope I always do right by you both.

Lately there's been a lot of sentences for inappropriate behavior writing going on because you haven't been getting a long. I want you to understand that the reason that you're writing is because we are choosing more fitting forms of discipline for the behaviors we are trying to detour. While not getting along is a normal part of development; and important because it teaches you both conflict resolution; it is also very hard for mommy to hear... writing gets two points across; 1) what I expect from you. 2) It provides you with the phraseology that is expected as well. I want you to know that if I go tomorrow that when you write; "I love my sister. My sister is my best friend." That those words have a lot of meaning. I want you both to be so close that you can share important things that occur in your life, that when something happens you think "I want my sister to know first" (of course this is after I'm gone to Heaven). I want you to be able to communicate, I want you to love each other more than anything in the world. While this type of relationship cannot be forced and it's one that blooms on it's own. I also feel that if I keep reminding you both how important your relationship is; you'll eventually get it and it will stick. You don't have to always agree with each other; but I hope that you will talk about it calmly. I hope that you will always be there as one anothers sounding boards. I hope that I am providing you both with the tools necessary to maintain a healthy relationship with each other as well as with other people.

Daddy and I had to change certain parts of our lives in order to make sure you're both being exposed to healthy relationships, ones that provide you with nurturing and understanding environments. We have had to stop going around certain people because of the things that are spoken about in front of you both or the way that people treat one another in front of you. All of our actions, while they cause some turmoil in other parts of our lives, are worth enduring to make sure you both are being exposed to situations that will only foster your well being. There are some relationships that have unfortunately had to be put on hold for the better of you both. We noticed when we went particular places that you both would argue more because of the types of behaviors that were being displayed in front of you. Once we stopped putting you both in situations where you were exposed to unfortunate events; we noticed a huge change in your behavior. One day I hope I am able to elaborate upon this; if I cannot -- please know that everything daddy and I have done have always been for the benefit of both of you.

We have come to realize that certain people found that the topics we felt were important -- were made into laughing matters -- and for that there is distance in those relationships. One day the people who we have had to slowly weed out of our lives will realize that their behaviors and choosing to make light of issues that are important are the reasons for our distance. We have only one chance to be your parents and raise you to be healthy not only in your body but also in mind, we only have one opportunity to make sure your inner voice is one that is encouraging. We want you to grow up with a good healthy image of yourself. I do not and have never spoke about my body in a negative way in front you both; mostly because I'm very comfortable in my skin now. I want you both to have high self esteem and know that your actions are a reflection of who you are. The people you are exposed to now are ones who lift you up and always make you feel good about yourselves when you leave them. I want you to know that this is important; please always surround yourself with people who make you feel better about yourself. No one should ever make you feel bad about yourself. No one should ever pit one of you against the other either. Your relationship as sisters is very important; it's a relationship that should be fostered not only by us as your parents; but everyone whom you are around and encounter.

The decisions that have to be made in order to make sure you're both safe; in every form of that word -- are not easy ones. Daddy and I take our job as your parents very seriously and want you to know that our love is endless -- much like your love for one another. If I go tomorrow please always keep in mind that you are loved endlessly always... and every decision or action that we have made have always been for the benefit of you both. xo